On the Menu – Mom’s Macaroni Salad
An Ode to Macaroni Salad…
O, humble bowl of macaroni salad —
not the bougie kind with sun-dried tomatoes,
not the foodie version with shaved fennel
and a vinaigrette made with ingredients found only in Tuscany.
But YOU. The real one. The cold one.
The one that has been sitting in the fridge since yesterday
and somehow got better overnight.
Praise be to the elbow macaroni,
that perfect little curved tube,
that modest pasta shape that never asked
to be anything more than what it was,
never tried to be a rigatoni,
never aspired to the status of pappardelle.
And the mayonnaise. Let us speak of the mayonnaise.
Not aioli. Not a “light herb emulsion.”
Mayo. From the jar. The big jar.
The one with the blue lid that Mom
scooped from with a rubber spatula,
scraping every last bit from the sides
because waste was not something
that happened in Mom’s kitchen.
She added it generously. She added it without apology.
She stirred it in with the authority of a woman
who had made this a hundred times before
and would make it a hundred times again
and did not need a recipe,
had never needed a recipe,
because some things live in the hands,
not on the page.
Then the celery — those thin little half-moons,
cool and pale, offering the faint promise of crunch.
An actual vegetable, added not for nutrition
but for texture, for conscience,
for the ability to say, ‘There are vegetables in this.’
And the red onion, diced small enough
to be everywhere and nowhere at once,
lending its quiet sharpness to every bite
like a rumor that can’t be traced back to anyone.
The hard-boiled eggs, sliced or chopped
depending on her mood that day,
yellow-centered and patient,
tucked in among the elbows
like little suns in a pale galaxy.
It was never elegant. It was never meant to be.
It was served out of a Tupperware container
at a picnic table, beside a bag of potato chips,
beside paper plates that bowed under the weight
of everything piled on them.
It was summer. It was always summer.
There were flies buzzing somewhere nearby
and Dad was grilling hot dogs or burgers
and kids were darting through the sprinklers
and no one had anywhere to be
and no one checked their phone. Imagine.
O, basic macaroni salad —
you asked for no praise and deserved all of it.
You were never the point of the meal.
And yet, you were always the point of the meal.•
Mom’s Macaroni Salad
Servings: 10 || Prep Time: 15 minutes || Cook Time: 10 minutes
Total Time: 25 minutes
Ingredients
- 4 cups elbow macaroni
- 1 cup mayonnaise (a little less or more, depending
- on your taste)
- 1 tsp. salt
- ½ tsp. freshly ground black pepper or ground white pepper
- ½ tsp. celery salt
- ½ medium red onion, finely chopped
- 2 large stalks celery, finely chopped
- 4-6 chilled hard-boiled eggs, sliced or chopped
Directions
Step 1: In a large pot, bring salted water to a boil. Add the macaroni and cook until tender, 8 to 10 minutes. Rinse under cold water and drain.
Step 2: In a large bowl, combine the mayonnaise, salt, pepper and celery salt. Stir in the cooked macaroni, red onion and celery. Then gently stir in the hard-boiled egg.
Step 3: Cover the salad with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. Don’t even think of tasting it until it has been chilled for 4 hours — preferably longer.
Ode and Recipe Written by:
Al Olson loves culinary arts, adult beverages and hiking in the North State wilderness. You may find him soaking up the scenery at one of our area’s many state or national parks or sitting in a barstool sipping a cold locally brewed craft beer.
