Here’s to 50 Plus & Fabulous You

Moving Gracefully into Midlife with transformation Coach Alexis Asbe…

In a world that has long prioritized youthfulness and anti-aging serums over moving gracefully into midlife, it’s no wonder that a waning sense of identity and self-confidence can sometimes accompany a woman into her 50s. Amidst society’s constant calls to reduce wrinkles, banish greys and hold fast to any trace of youth while you can, women 50-plus can all too often glance in the mirror and mourn what once was.

“One of the greatest challenges women over 50 face every day is the loss of identity and self-confidence as we age. In the world of women, all is connected,” says Alexis Asbe, a transformation coach and consultant. “Often, the way women do anything is the way we do everything. The confidence and self-belief we have in ourselves impacts every area of our life.”

Photo by Melinda Hunter

Asbe has spent the last 20 years guiding women (and men) back to their truth through her work. She helps her clients align with health, wealth and happiness, which can sometimes feel out of reach as women move into midlife. Asbe says her work requires helping people “reclaim what they have forgotten, who they are, and who they can become to create the life, love and resources they desire.”

At 40 years old, shortly after the birth of her second child, Asbe was propelled into this calling when she found elements of her own life out of balance. “I knew something was not in alignment – and that what I had been taught or believed was not sustainable. Everyone thought I was crazy,” she says with a laugh. “I might be.”

Since then, Asbe has made it her life’s work to help guide other women into reimagining their lives with a fresh, beautiful, new perspective.

“In a society that is afraid of and rejects the nature of the feminine, health, relationships and resources can become challenging. There is little conversation or awareness of the countless body and brain changes that happen. There is a high value for – a programming – to continue to push and disconnect from the changes women are experiencing,” says Asbe.

Asbe has identified nine spheres in which women over 50 are likely to experience cultural and societal pressures:

Body: the pressure to look like they are still in their 30s.

Other people and work environments: unconscious prejudices towards women who are not of child-bearing age, fueled by the belief that they have less to offer.

Caring for others: the demands of working, giving, and caretaking of family and elderly relatives.

Self-value: the belief that they can’t or do not have the time or resources for self-care and self- provision.

Photo by Melinda Hunter

Relationships: a lack of emotional, physical and spiritual support from friends, family and work.

Love: intimate relationships and hormonal changes.

Cultivating meaningful bonds: making friends and building real sisterhood.

Health: physical and emotional changes or major health setbacks.

Identity: having a sense of self-worth.

How can women overcome these unfair, burdensome pressures, even when they seem to creep in from every angle? How can women move forward to find the immeasurable beauty that comes with aging? Asbe says the first step is for women to acknowledge the suffering they are experiencing. Step 2 is to allow themselves to deconstruct the life that used to be. Step 3 is to hit the pause button for a moment of reflection. Step 4 is to recreate from a space of truth. Step 5 is for women to make friends with and embrace their feminine energy. Step 6 means putting themselves in spaces where they can be fully seen, heard and appreciated.

“Women over 50 should embrace the epic transformation of becoming more of who we truly are. We must recognize that beauty and self-love are not external,” says Asbe.

Midlife is a period in which women should welcome a beautiful new version of themselves, but that requires putting down some heavy, unhelpful baggage, too.

Photo by Melinda Hunter

“It’s time for women to let go of the belief that as we age, we are less important or desirable; that transformation isn’t possible as we age; and that we have to work hard or constantly be doing something to be happy,” says Asbe.

The best part of being a woman over 50, Asbe says, unequivocally, is “freedom, wisdom, full expression and living in service to what is true.”

Asbe speaks from a place of personal experience, wisdom and grace when she offers the following sage advice to women over 50 who want to live their best lives:

“Love yourselves radically. Learn to access and practice tuning into your inner knowing. Do not distract, numb or disconnect from yourselves with constantly being busy, work, substance, hard habits or the expectations of others. If it’s not a ‘HELL YES,’ it’s a HARD NO. Build a sisterhood. Surround yourselves with other women that are also doing their personal spiritual work. Embrace midlife as a rebirthing. Embrace your body and her divine wisdom. Make yourself proud.” •

Alexis Asbe Coaching and Consulting
Find her on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn

About Kimberly N. Bonéy

Proud wife and mom, is a freelance writer, designer, up-cycler and owner of Herstory Vintage. When she’s not working, she is joyfully wielding jewelry-making tools and paintbrushes in her studio. Antique shops, vintage boutiques, craft stores and bead shops are her happy place.

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